


An Engineering Problem

by SubtextEquals



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Crossover, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-07
Updated: 2013-07-07
Packaged: 2017-12-18 00:57:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/873874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SubtextEquals/pseuds/SubtextEquals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Potter crossover with Star Trek: The Next Generation. When the vessel the Marauder is found adrift, Picard sends an away team to help them with repairs. What they didn’t count on was having to witness a spat between the engineer, Remus Lupin, and his crewmate, Sirius Black.</p>
<p>No warnings. Just silliness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Engineering Problem

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Winter Wolfstar Wank for the prompt "2000-modern" (including the future).

The spaceship The Marauder hung in space, listless and unmoving, letting out a flash of light periodically as her warp core sparked.

“Analysis, Commander Data?” Captain Picard turned to the android.

“Their warp core appears to be in distress. Their hailing system is down.”

“Casualties?”

“There are five life signs, all of them healthy.”

“Good.” Picard nodded. “Number one, send an away team. Perhaps we may be of some assistance.”

“Sir,” Worf began. “I do not recommend that we go without first contacting them. We do not know what sort of people may be on this vessel. It could be a trap.”

“Your objection is noted, Mister Worf. You may send a small security team to accompany them.”

“Aye, sir.”

“Now,” Picard turned his appraising eye on the sight of the Marauder. “The question is, how did they get in such a state?”

\---

“How many times have I told you, Sirius?” Remus snapped as he worked feverishly on restoring their warp core. “No pranks in the engine room.”

“That’s no fun.” Sirius said. When Remus snapped his fingers he handed the man a coil spanner. “Besides, you should have seen the look on your face. I wish I had a holo recorder.”

“The look on my face,” Remus said between gritted teeth. He grunted as he pulled a broken piece of machinery loose. “Is nothing compared to the look the Captain will have when she finds out why we’re dead in the water.”

“I have to say, I’m surprised you didn’t tell her.” Sirius leaned forward. He rested his arm on the machinery and batted his eyelashes. “Is there any reason you’re covering for me, my—”

Remus started. “Sirius, don’t—”

But he was too late. A flash of light accompanied a strong sparking of the machinery Remus had been working on, right where Sirius had rested his arm. A cloud of smoke dashed any hope of seeing him.

“Sirius!” Remus cried before a coughing fit overtook him. He could hear Sirius coughing next to him.

“I’m—fine.” He choked out.

They both fell to the floor where the smoke couldn’t reach them. Remus stared at Sirius and once he was content that the other man was just fine, he grabbed him by the collar and hauled him onto his knees. A few short seconds later his fist collided with Sirius’s face.

Sirius swore and rubbed his jaw. “What was that for?”

“You could have gotten yourself killed!” Remus snapped though really he could have killed them both but that didn’t seem half as important as the fact that Sirius could have died.

“Thanks for caring. You’ve got a funny way of showing it.” Sirius crawled away from the smoke before standing.

Remus followed. Instead of examining the damage he looked at Sirius. His hair was a mess, his clothes were blackened, and damn him, Remus wanted more than ever to pull him close and kiss him.

He noticed too late that they were standing close to each other. They could practically feel the other’s breath as they panted.

In spite of his pain, Sirius’s mouth quirked into a smile. He leaned in, and—

“BLACK! What is going on here?”

Both Sirius and Remus sprang back and turned to face their captain. They looked down at their feet like scolded school boys, unable to face Lily Evan’s menacing green eyes.

Sirius took a deep breath to keep the room from spinning and looked up at the captain. “Why would you ask me? Remus is the engineer.”

“Because whenever something goes wrong you’re always behind it.”

“Well, James used to be behind it too until you two—”

Lily’s eyes narrowed. “Is that really the direction you want to take this in?”

“Ah, no. Well, it’s—”

“Lily, this time it really wasn’t his fault.” Remus said. He stared straight ahead and ignored the sharp look that Sirius gave him. “The flux capacitors burnt out on their own. I told you before that they needed replacing.”

Lily nodded though she still glanced Sirius’s way before responding. “We don’t have enough latinum to replace it. Can you repair them?”

“I’ll do my best.”

“Maybe you could use some help. James is talking with a team from the Enterprise.”

Sirius’s jaw dropped. “The Enterprise? We got the Federation’s flagship dropping by? That ship is—”

“Legendary?” Lily smiled. “I know. Which is why I’m counting on you two to try not to embarrass me too much.” She paused and looked Sirius over. “In the meantime you’d better see the doctor.”

“I’m fine.”

“In that case I’m sure Remus wants you out of his hair.” She gave Sirius’s hair a very obvious glance. “Speaking of, you might want to wash yours.”

Grumbling, Sirius left the engine room.

By now the smoke had, for the most part, cleared and Remus went back to work. He was just as surly as Sirius, judging from the lines on his face and his frown. “Could have picked a better time.” He muttered.

“What was that?”

“Nothing, just…”

“Don’t tell me he tried to kiss you.”

Remus choked and waved his hands in front of his face to try to pass it off as simply from the smoke.

Lily smirked. “Oh, Remus. You don’t think the rest of us haven’t caught on by now?”

Remus’s face had turned almost solid red. “There’s—there’s nothing going on.”

“I wouldn’t say that.” Lily said and she looked in the direction Sirius had gone. “There’s definitely something going on between you two.”

\---

Wanting to know what was going on, though he claimed that he was checking for injuries, the good doctor Pettigrew, who they all called Wormy for reasons no one ever remembered, went into the corridor. He ran into Sirius when the man was halfway to his room and almost laughed himself senseless. To make matters worse that was when James came, leading the away team from the Enterprise. While the Enterprise crew members managed to (mostly) keep themselves composed, James broke out laughing as well.

“Your prank backfired on you this time?”

“It wasn’t me.” Sirius said, all too aware that if Remus had lied on his behalf he’d better not reveal that he had. While Captain Evans wasn’t strict, she wouldn’t appreciate that Remus hadn’t been honest with her. And, as Sirius was finding out more and more, whatever he told James had a higher chance of getting back to Lily in the end. He couldn’t help but be a little bitter about that.

“Sure it wasn’t.”

Sirius shrugged. “It wasn’t. It’s not as fun without you.” He nodded at the away team—a Klingon, an android, a man with a visor and several men in redshirts. That boded well.

“Welcome aboard The Marauder. I’d greet you properly but I need to change into something more comfortable first.”

He strode past them and down the corridor.

Data looked after him. “Fascinating.”

\---

Geordi surveyed the damage to the flux capacitors. “It looks like someone poured adhesives in here.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “As long as it stays between the two of us, yes. One of my friends, more than one actually, has an unusual brand of humor. My captain is under the impression that the capacitors died on their own.”

“I see why. I can see the rust clearly.” He tapped his visor.

Remus nodded. He was sure that the other man had to endure many questions about his visor, mostly to satisfy as exposition for new or casual viewers, but he respected his fellow engineer’s privacy. It wasn’t the first time he’d heard of visual aides either even if this was far more complicated than the glasses of long ago.

“We’re not fitted with good parts like you are. We have to make do with what we can afford.”

“Well, I think that’s it for your flux capacitors. We can beam over some for you.”

Remus would have liked to protest but he knew all too well that without the flux capacitors they would be stuck in space. Lost, so to speak. “I wish we could repay you.” He said finally.

Geordi clapped him on the shoulder. “Don’t mention it. It’s the Federation’s duty to help you.”

From behind them a newly cleaned Sirius cleared his throat. There was something not entirely friendly in his eyes as he stared pointedly at the hand on Remus’s shoulder.

“I came to see if you needed any help.” He said.

“I think you’ve done enough, Sirius. Thanks.”

Sirius hesitated for a moment before he turned and walked away, muttering curses under his breath.

Remus closed his eyes. “Crap.” He turned to Geordi. “Sorry, I’ll be right back… I think.” He got up and followed his friend.

From seemingly out of nowhere though in fact he’d been there all along, Data stepped forward and took his place next to Geordi. “I am curious as to that interaction.”

“I’m guessing we found the man responsible for adhesive in the flux capacitors.”

“Why would he seek to cover up his crewmate’s error?”

Geordi chuckled. “If you could call it an error.”

“Is it because they are friends?”

“You know, Data. I’m not sure they are.”

One lovesick engineer could recognize another.

\---

Remus soon caught up with his friend. “Sirius, wait!”

Sirius turned and his brief moment of surprise at Remus’s arrival was soon replaced by surliness once again. “Done chatting up your fellow engineer?”

“You know it wasn’t like that.”

“Wasn’t it?”

Remus let out an exasperated sigh as he shook his head. “Sirius, sometimes I don’t understand you.”

“Well, I’m sorry you can’t see me and figure out exactly how I work like you can with your precious ship.”

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose. “Do you want to tell me what this is about? Are you really upset that another engineer is over helping me repair what you started?”

“Because I was supposed to help you!” Sirius snapped. He unconsciously took a step forward. “That’s why I always do it. I make a mess, you pretend to be upset with me, and Lily orders me to help you clean everything up.” He took a step back and folded his arms, looking every bit like a petulant child.

Remus opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “That’s why?”

Sirius kicked at the floor. “Yes.”

Remus laughed. “Sirius, you are an idiot.”

“You know just what a man wants to hear, Re—”

Remus didn’t let him finish. “Because if you want to spend time with me all you have to do is ask.”

It was Sirius’s turn to be flustered, but only for a moment as he reached for Remus’s hands.

Remus smiled. “And that way you won’t accidentally kill us one of these days.”

“Yeah. Just what I want to hear.” Sirius laughed quietly.

“What about ‘when are you going to kiss me?’”

And Sirius did just that.

\---

When Captain Picard called in for a status report Geordi had to report that it was going to take a while longer. He didn’t say that the reason was because The Marauder’s engineer had been absent for the past hour and a half. Data was puzzled. Geordi never explained it to him.


End file.
